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The Rubbish Inspector & the Rubbish Service Are Each Coping with Trash


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NaijaTwitter is just not good for anybody’s well being, particularly not mine. I’m vulnerable to agitation (as it’s with quick folks) and heaving mammaries (as it’s with full chested individuals). But, day-after-day I get on @Jack’s web site to get my justifiable share of morning angst. In the present day was no completely different. Okay, I lie … at this time was completely different within the sense that up till now, I haven’t nonetheless been in a position to monitor down Floor Zero of at this time’s gist. (You probably have the unique story, please share).

Anyway, from what I gathered, there was a marriage this weekend (don’t quote me on the accuracy of when the nuptials came about o) and the groom allegedly had been sending footage of his penis to quite a few girls. So, one of many girls got here on Twitter to share that this fellow who simply acquired married (a.okay.a was in a dedicated, seemingly monogamous relationship, with one other lady) had been sending images of his penis to her… on his marriage ceremony day. From what I gathered, the unique sharer was not the one one who tweeted that they’d additionally been in some type of relationship or the opposite with this man.

*YAWN*

Folks lie. Folks cheat. Folks share tales of mendacity cheats. Single folks lie and cheat. Married folks cheat and lie.

Anybody who pays shut consideration to the social and dynamics of Nigeria is aware of that marriage is a foreign money and other people marry for various causes. Do no matter works for you.

This story tells us nothing new or fascinating. Nonetheless, I did discover two issues fascinating: the truth that each thread I scoured by means of, there have been individuals who wished within the path of the ORIGINAL gist. The second factor was that some folks claimed to know the couple concerned and the person concerned, the groom, seems to be a ‘fan favorite.’ Because of this seeming favouritism, there have been very fascinating takes about why it’s fallacious to deliver problems with dishonest to the timeline.

Somebody tweeted about the way you shouldn’t cheat with individuals who don’t have anything to lose (Leemao, this one had me cackling. Cheat with somebody with excessive stakes then?) Somebody stated it was fallacious for the women to reveal the Penis Exposer, on his marriage ceremony day, as a result of it was going to harm the bride. The particular person went on to say it’s unconscionable to deliver such info of inappropriate sexual conduct to the general public foray. The direct message inbox is reported to be the lex loci contractus.

My understanding of that final place is that, the place the place the penis images are exchanged is the precise discussion board to adjudicate any type of infraction that comes from the breach of any contractual penile obligations. The deal with the impact on the bride (a.okay.a, making her sad on ‘the happiest day of her life’) and parking the blame of those uncovered penile nudes on the door of the women who got here forth to say they’ve been recipients is harking back to the phrases of certainly one of my favorite writers, Khalid Hosenni

Like a compass needle that all the time factors north, a person’s accusing finger all the time finds a girl.

In fact, the person who’s having sexual relations with different folks is just not being frolicked to dry on this case. No, it’s okay. It’s normalized. Hoorah for sanctioned adultery for Nigerian males.

To be clear, we reside within the age of social media. Twitter, like different types of social media, is a spot for folks to precise themselves – particularly in methods they might or might not have the ability to do bodily. To posit that an individual shouldn’t use Twitter to air their grievances is kind of disingenuous. Sure, sure, I do know. There’s a Yoruba adage that claims it’s not all garments that must be hung outdoors on the garments line to dry. However, you already know your garments are gonna get stank and musty, should you proceed to maintain damp stuff lined up. Generally, simply air that sh*t out.

Secondly, we actually must re-assess this notion that weddings are a girl’s happiest day on earth. Truthfully, we might lay the blame on the toes of Disney, however that might be elitist – as a result of even folks (learn as girls) who didn’t develop up with Cable TV in Nigeria aspire to have some type of wonderful marriage ceremony day. It’s this marriage ceremony day glory that makes you suppose that what’s worse than having a dishonest associate is discovering out that the one that you’re signing as much as do perpetually with, is an untrue, mendacity particular person. Personally, I’d relatively discover out what I’d be coping with earlier than I join perpetually with somebody who can’t be trusted with my life insurance coverage payout. However the glorification of “the perfect day of a girl’s life” received’t let a few of us see street and purchase sense.

That being stated, I’d prefer to remind you guys that simply final week, the new button subject on TwitterNG was polyamory, dropped at you by our American HotSauce, Jidenna. Sure, for one week, Nigerians had been debating the professionals and cons of polyamory. In fact, Jidenna stated he didn’t really feel some typa method both method, understanding his associate was with a associate of their very own selecting. I don’t know the way hetero-Nigerian males really feel about that one. I didn’t keep lengthy sufficient on Twitter to search out out.

Possibly the couple concerned have an association of polyamory. I imply, who is just not even polyamorous on this Nigeria sef? From the times of our forefathers, Daddy Lani and Mummy Lani have been sharing their mattress with Mummy Shade, Mummy Fisayo and Sisi Banke (nonetheless praying for the ‘fruit of the womb’). In any case, I simply stated I ought to deliver the gist to a few of you folks right here, as a result of up until now I’m nonetheless in search of the supply of this gist, and it’s a sluggish Monday morning on the workplace, so why not?


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Oh, and to remind you that whether or not you’re the rubbish handler or the rubbish inspector … the widespread issue is the rubbish you’re coping with. Get some sanitizer and do away with the trash that’s more likely to stain your white.

Keep fairly, lovelies. Get pleasure from your week.

Peace, love & cucumber slices.

Ah, earlier than I am going, let me go away this one right here for you folks to assist me see one thing else I noticed on this subject. The extent of resourcefulness you folks undergo simply to have affairs… so spectacular.

So, so, so spectacular! Possibly put that effort into making your marriages work, or, at finest, break up so that you don’t must be doing all this bending over backward to take away image and re-arrange residence.

Lagos married males lease serviced residences with their mates full with cooks and interchangeable footage on the wall. Then you definately see how environment friendly and arranged they are often as they schedule their knacks ?

— Chioma (@Ch10ma) August 25, 2019

Anyway, phrase to the sensible: with all of the migration to Canada that is happening, take heed, lest ye get taken to a serviced residence by a fellow whose partner and children are in Burlington, Ontario.


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