It’s simple that Nigeria runs on patriarchy. From the elevation of male kids to the continual minimizing of the fundamental rights of women and girls, the patriarchy is in all places.
Pushed by a our unyielding maintain of faith and a pervasive tradition, the difficulty of whether or not women and men must be handled equally continues to stay a subject of heated debate. It is because of this that feminism continues to be a contentious concern amongst the Nigerian polity.
Nonetheless, feminism exists in Nigeria; and opposite to what lots of people would possibly prefer to consider, it’s not a brand new age idea. Moms, grandmothers and nice grandmothers have usually stood their floor and fought for his or her rights to exist on equal footing, merely as people.
Social media has, nonetheless, taken feminism in Nigeria past the Aba girls’s riot, and different radical actions; social media has united feminists within the nation with their counterparts overseas. With social media, the tales have grow to be amplified and highlighted at a scale that’s virtually inconceivable.
Feminists discovered one another and shared experiences of their work, their variations and the one factor that unified them – equal rights for all girls – poor girls, black girls, transwomen, queer girls, wealthy girls, disabled girls, and everybody inside the completely different intersections. Equal rights for all girls.
With feminists discovering one another on social media, one factor is continually introduced up: “Who will marry you?” (And this is applicable to each males and and ladies who align with the motion). Why does it appear so unbelievable that somebody would marry a feminist?
It is because of this that BellaNaija has determined to show its highlight on the companions of feminists. On this sequence, we chat with people who find themselves married to feminists — study their highs, their lows and their whys.
First off, we converse to Deji A, a telecommunications marketing consultant who was born and raised in Lagos, and is married to the feminist Ahunna N. Deji had each his main and secondary schooling in Isolo, Lagos, studied Pc Science within the College of Lagos, and though he was raised to be open minded, his background held no traces of feminism.
Deji describes himself as a feminist, believes feminism in its most elementary kind is the standard of all sexes, with girls afforded the identical stage of entry as males to wealth, the identical alternatives, and lifestyle. He has two children.
Hear extra from Deji.
How did he meet Ahunna?
I met her on Twitter. I heard a good friend discuss her and I used to be intrigued. So I looked for her on twitter. I replied one in all her tweets with a corny line and he or she responded. I despatched her a DM and after numbers have been exchanged, I known as her. That’s how it began.
When did he discover out she was a feminist?
The primary day we met truly. She drove to my place on a Sunday. She talked for some time and I listened. The whole lot she mentioned made sense and it was like I used to be listening to it for the primary time. She already had me from when Sess spoke about her, however I confirmed it after we met and talked.
Do they each share the identical definition of feminism?
Sure, we do. I do need to say that she understands it on a deeper stage as a result of she experiences it each day whereas as a person, I’m shielded from it
How is it completely different, being married to a feminist?
Effectively, she actually is a wonderful particular person. I consider that’s solely potential as a result of she is a feminist and her thoughts is extra advanced on account of this. It modifications the facility dynamics and permits me get pleasure from extra of all the pieces in my relationship.
What does he consider are the downsides to being married to a feminist?
Feminists are the minority of the inhabitants right here in Nigeria. Similar as LGBTQ individuals and some other group that’s thought-about as completely different. Minorities are in all circumstances oppressed. In my case although, aside from some backlash on social media, I’m not accessible to individuals or conditions the place I’m made to really feel a draw back to being feminist.
Has there been a distinctly memorable occasion from being partnered to a feminist?
My life from after I met my spouse has been a sequence of memorable tales and occasions. Nothing is similar.
Does he assume their relationship has modified on account of Ahunna being a feminist?
Sure, it has. Like I mentioned earlier than, a relationship the place each events are working as equals can’t be the identical as one the place a companion thinks he/she is superior
What’s Deji’s expertise discussing feminism with family and friends?
I haven’t mentioned it as an idea or matter with mates or household. It reveals in my discussions with anybody.
Would he do it once more? If he had a do-over, would he once more marry a feminist?
Everybody must be a feminist, so, in fact, I might do it once more.
Do you or your partner need to be featured on My Associate is a Feminist? Please ship an e-mail to options(at)bellanaija(dot)com with the topic line “My Associate is a Feminist,” and we’ll proceed from there.